Every day is a good day to ask yourself how to be a good husband. You’re a man of God striving to be a godly husband. But how do you define the duties of a Christian husband by Biblical standards?
A godly household reflects a higher order under Christ’s authority. Paul reminds Christians to submit to one another [Ephesians 5:21, NIV]. and wives to submit to husbands as to the Lord [Ephesians 22]. The verses that follow provide important context for Ephesians 5:21-33. For husbands, it’s a high bar! But when you step up as a servant-leader in the footsteps of Christ, you’re worthy of your wife’s submission and respect.
In the game of life and within the boundaries of marriage, there are scriptural guidelines to be sure. The 10 Commandments [Exodus 20: 1-26], Sermon on the Mount [Matthew 5:1-11], and bottom-line basics [John 3:16] are fundamental. As a Christian husband and leader of your household, stay close to your wife and follow God’s playbook – the Bible.
Your wife is your life’s partner, beloved friend, and helpmate [Genesis 2:18]. Talk and pray together often [Matthew 18:20]. Trust God at every turn. After all, you have a direct line to His wisdom [James 1:5]! Be steadfast and abound in the Lord’s work, but remember that victory comes through Christ [1 Corinthians 15:57-58].
What is the role of a Christian husband? Love your wife … a lot!
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” – [Ephesians 5:33, NIV]
Christian marriage is more than legal documents and storybook ideals. It’s a lifelong covenant witnessed by the Lord [Malachi 2:14-16]. You’re no longer two, but one flesh, joined together by God [Matthew 19:6]. He wants you to love each other wholeheartedly, as you’re called to love Him. A faith-based marriage welcomes God’s gift of children [Psalm 127:3] and family. It enriches you individually and together for your salvation and the greater glory of God.
Just as being a godly husband isn’t about being perfect, a godly wife struggles with her own sinful tendencies. Be kind, and remember that you’re in this together! “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” [Ephesians 4:2-5].
Guideposts for godly husbands
As you work out the finer points of married life with your bride of a few or many years, these reminders may help keep you on track.
1. Do everything in His name
Marriage is rewarding, demanding, and often painstakingly “ordinary.” From small chores to big repairs, it’s easy to forget why it all matters. You’re called to love one another [John 13:34], act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God [Micah 6:8]. You’re asked to pray for all people [1 Timothy 2:1] and do all things in life – in word and deed – in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father through Him [Colossians 3:17].
2. Play to win
Scripture reminds you to follow the rules, train your body and bring it under control if you want to win the crown that lasts forever [1 Corinthians 9:24-27]. The win is salvation – for you, your wife, and others. As a godly man, a Christian husband, and the leader of your household, you’re playing for keeps – an eternal crown that’s better than any earthbound trophy, prize, or bragging rights.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” –[Ephesians 5:33, NIV]
3. Expect turbulence
As a Christian husband, expect many blessings but also sacrifices and setbacks. There’ll be shared joys as well as thankless chores and painful thorns. Don’t be deterred! You needn’t “white-knuckle it” when times are hard, or you’re dealing with marriage stress. That’s the time – more than ever – to get on your knees before the Father.
4. Take out the garbage
When you need perspective, Paul doesn’t mince words: “I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ” [Philippians 3:8].
You may focus on the duties of a husband, such as protecting and providing for your family or fixing what’s broken. Sometimes, it’s easier to fix leaky faucets, flat tires, or squeaky furniture than to heal emotional wounds, patch up conflicts, restore lost faith or mend broken hearts. If you find yourself short-tempered, slow to forgive, or distracted by earthly vs. heavenly goals [Matthew 6:19-21], step aside, take a deep breath, and regroup.
Are your goals motivated by greed or pride? Do you resort to substance abuse, angry tirades, or other vices versus positive, proactive actions? Do your critical words discourage others? Toss the ungodly trash in your life. Strive to focus instead on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy [Philippians 4:8].
Furthermore, your wife will appreciate it if you literally take out the garbage, too – whether or not that’s on your list of things to do!
5. Let the Spirit empower you
Christ’s disciples often fell short. Peter witnessed Christ’s dazzling transfiguration [Mark 9:2] yet later disowned Jesus [Matthew 26:70]. Thomas doubted Christ’s resurrection [John 20:24]. James and John joined Peter and were caught napping while Christ prayed alone, suffering overwhelming grief in the garden of Gethsemane [Matthew 26:38].
Christ knows that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak [Matthew 26:41]. He loves you anyway! After Christ’s resurrection, the Holy Spirit’s power [Acts 2:4] emboldened the disciples. Seek His guidance, and He’ll do the same for you.
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